How it all began

Hi, I’m Portia Putatunda. I started traveling on my own at an early age of 19. I was such a socially awkward creature, who shied away from even sharing my photos, videos or even much talk about my journeys and the numerous adventures that I would often encounter on the road. ALL BY MYSELF. Thus, such a late start in blogging. Until recently, I realised I have been sitting on a huge treasure of solo travel experience of 12 years, started back in 2008 when it wasn’t even such a trend as it’s now. And yet, have always felt shy to write or talk about the several stories I have to tell. So here I am, finally starting to share my story with you.

Born in a middle class family, I was quite apprehensive of being judged about all my leaves and the peanut salary always spent in traveling and MOSTLY why I always wanted to go alone. Not everybody understands, you know? Not everybody accepts that as “normal”. Not everybody understands that you always don’t need to live in luxurious hotels and eat in 5-star places to feel good about a destination. Not everybody feels safe in sleeping in a bunk bed in a hostel and feels great about eating Maggi and sipping Chai at the roadside stall while traveling. Everybody’s travel value surely differs and mine is different too. I can travel on a shoestring budget too and I travel for deeper connection with my soul, myself, nature and people. (I’ll tell you about why I travel in a different post later)

So, when did it all begin? I had just finished my graduation and started working with a National English Daily Newspaper as a Sub-Editor and THAT was my dream job, well, kind of back then! I was a curious child and was always fascinated with nature, travel, music, art and history.

I was very keen to SEE THE WORLD with my own eyes and not just watch videos and photos of the world on the internet and believe that to be equal to traveling. But, all my emotions with exploring our country and then someday, go abroad ALONE had to be kept to myself mostly. Again, because not many would relate to my feelings (that’s how I always felt whenever I would talk about it).

I was born shy and remained quite awkward in anybody’s company for the first 12 years of my life. Gradually, I turned out to be a very talkative girl and started making a whole bunch of friends everywhere I went.

Talkative but Introvert? Yes, that’s me. Now I know how that can be very confusing to one’s friends and colleagues. One minute the chatty friend who appear to be just like her fellow extrovert friends suddenly withdraw to be alone. Is she mad or upset about something? No. I am NOT. I just want some time to be by myself to recharge, like anybody else. I guess we all are quite familiar with this as we must have felt that way sometime or the other. So, yes I started traveling but would often not find the right words to describe my trip to a friend later and would end up answering in monosyllables often making them wonder about the concept of “solo traveling”.  

This is all about me being awkward and tongue-tied in most situations socially. But, was it the same when I went traveling anywhere? Well, Yes and No both to be honest. I would initially come across as the friendly girl from a neighbouring state who has come visiting while I checked in and later, quite distant or “selfish” maybe?

No, I am not selfish or disinterested in you. I just don’t want to talk much because here, I stand in front of a mighty mountain range THE HIMALAYAS and I am awe-struck at the beauty. I feel least significant in front of this picturesque landscape and beautiful meadows and valleys. My life or my story is not that interesting to talk about in front of THIS! So, what am I supposed to talk about to you constantly? I don’t have months to spend in this beautiful place to be able to soak this beauty up but only a few hours or a day at the most before I have to return to my ever-busy life at work.

And Yes, I do take time to open up with strangers and weren’t we fed by our parents to “not speak to strangers” for years? So, years of being brought up in a conventional way and only few hours to know the locals and even make friends with them…How am I supposed to strike any balance?

With 12 years of solo travel, I’ve gone from somebody so shy that ordering food even in a small cafe all by myself made my heart pound and my head swim, to being somebody that will sing karaoke on the roadside or at a campsite in front of a handful of people I’d just met that day.

Sometimes I catch sight of myself and wonder “who is this person and what has she done with the real Portia?”. Travel changes you if you give it the chance. Especially solo travel. It compels you to get out of your comfort zone, introduces you to a stream of new people, makes you try new things, and slowly buffers you into a new and – potentially – better version of yourself. And THAT IS THE POWER OF TRAVELING SOLO, My Friends! Any solo traveler would agree with me, won’t you?

But I do agree that travelling as a shy person can be quite daunting. If you’re shy, socially awkward, or anxious, the idea of solo travel is a nightmare. Trust me, I’ve been there. For the past twelve years I’ve mostly travelled solo – and this year I pushed myself to go off the beaten track and live in extreme conditions in the winter in a little village in Himachal Pradesh yes, all by myself. And honestly, since then I feel like a different person. It’s almost unbelievable how much I’ve grown! But that doesn’t mean I’m not still shy. Every time I have to make new connections, I am awkward. Every time I have to talk about my trips with new people, I feel sick with nerves. Shyness isn’t something that can be cured, but it is something you can learn to live with – and travel can help with that.

So these are a few of my tips for coping with shyness as a solo traveller…